


Confessions & Tears

by FrostyQueen



Category: Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rick Riordan, The Heroes of Olympus - Rick Riordan
Genre: Coming Out, Internalized Homophobia, One Shot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-19
Updated: 2021-03-19
Packaged: 2021-03-28 04:35:06
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,166
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30134076
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FrostyQueen/pseuds/FrostyQueen
Summary: Nico comes out to Bianca, and doesn’t realize the weight of what she said until years later
Relationships: Bianca di Angelo & Nico di Angelo, Nico di Angelo/Will Solace
Comments: 2
Kudos: 62





	Confessions & Tears

**Author's Note:**

> TW for Internalized Homophobia.

_ This is stupid.  _ Nico thought to himself, as he made his way into Persephone’s garden, the place that Bianca said she would meet him. This was a rare occasion, as she usually ignored Nico’s calls unless he was doing something stupid. 

Nico fiddled with the buttons on his jacket, as his feet carried him toward the garden. Luckily, Persephone wasn’t in the underworld at the moment, because she would be  _ pissed _ if she found out this was the meeting place for two children of Hades.

As Nico got closer to the garden, he felt nerves begin to build up more and more. How was he supposed to explain how he was feeling, if  _ he _ didn’t understand how he was feeling? How was he supposed to explain feelings that felt so unnatural?

Nico sighed. If anyone were to understand, it would be Bianca. He sure as hell wasn’t going to his dad first… his dad absolutely despised him as is, and he didn’t really know where else he would go if Hades reacted in a way that was too harsh.

Soon, he stepped into the garden, looking around for Bianca. Nico fiddled with his ring as he waited, and as questions soared through his mind.  _ What if she reacts badly? What if I lose the one person who ever cared about me?  _

Nico scoffed at that. He already lost her, and it was a miracle she even agreed to him right now. He had nothing else to lose.

“Nico.”

Nico whipped his head around, to see his sister’s soul standing behind him. Nico did his best to hide whatever insecurities he 

was feeling… he didn’t want to come off as scared. He wanted to say what he was going to say, but he didn’t know how to.  _ Bianca doesn’t want to hear about this bullshit- why can’t I just let her rest in peace? _

Yet here Bianca was here, waiting to hear whatever Nico had to say, with the same,  _ what the hell did you do  _ look she always gave him before her passing.

“Nico, I agreed to meet you here for a short time, if you’re trying to bring me back to life again-“

Nico shook his head. “No, nothing like that. There’s, uh, something that I need to get off my chest, and I don’t know who else to talk to. “

Bianca’s face softened a bit, as if relieved that Nico wasn’t bringing her back to life, but concerned as to why Nico would go through so much trouble to talk to her. 

“Nico, what’s wrong?”

Nico hesitated. This was going to sound stupid, but he had to get it out anyways. He would feel terrible if he called Bianca here for no reason. 

“I uh- I have a crush.”

_ Great start.  _ Nico rolled his eyes, reprimanding his cowardly ass for dancing around the truth. What the hell was so hard about this? Why couldn’t he just say it? 

Bianca chuckled a bit, “On Annabeth? I know-“

“No, not Annabeth.”

“Really?”

That apparently took Bianca by surprise, as her light smile turned to raised eyebrows. She seemed confused now, and Nico didn’t blame her- Bianca still probably assumed Nico was straight, and Nico didn’t interact with many women… or anyone at all.

“Is it Thalia?”

“No.”

“Clarisse?”

“Nope.”

“Silena?”

“Nope.”

“Then-“

“It’s Percy.” Nico blurted out.

Bianca blinked, obviously not expecting that response, as Nico’s stomach churned. He never admitted that out loud before, and he didn’t know how he felt about it… it felt honest, but he felt ashamed of himself for it. He couldn’t look at Bianca, but awaited any response he may have had.

“I thought you hated Percy.”

_ That’s her response?  _ Nico guessed it was a good response so far. 

“I don’t- at least I don’t think I am. I think I am resentful of the fact that he’s-“

“Not gay?”

_ Gay.  _ That wasn’t something he heard himself being referred to as, and it was in this moment that Nico couldn’t hold in his insecurities anymore, and he choked out a sob. His whole chest tightened and he bent over.

_ In front of his sister.  _

Nico couldn’t believe she had died, and Nico was still here being a problem to her. 

“Nico, it’s okay-“ Bianca’s soothing voice washed over him.

“No it isn’t!”

Everything went silent, then, as Nico’s sobs turned into sniffles. He felt guilt surface in the bottom of his stomach.

“I’m sorry, Bianca, I shouldn’t have brought you here-“

“No, Nico, don’t apologize-“

“It’s not important-“

“If it wasn’t important, you wouldn’t have been crying!” Bianca told him.

Nico looked down. Apparently he had too much pent up emotions over this, emotions he denied he had. He hated himself for this, but looking at Bianca, the person he loved most, he realized that she didn’t hate him as much as he did. In fact she was smiling.

“These feelings you’re feeling are real, and it’s important you address them. I’m happy you came to me, and I just want you to know that I accept you.” Bianca told him.

_ I accept you.  _ This was all he wanted to hear, and he felt a wave of relief wash over him… so why did he still feel gross about this?

“But you don’t accept yourself, do you?”

Nico shook his head. It was no use hiding it, not after the sobbing mess he had been a few minutes ago. His eyes still looked to the ground.

“Nico, look at me.”

Nico looked at her, and saw pride in her eyes, and Nico felt his heart beat faster. 

“Nico, I love you no matter what- I always will. But you need to learn to love yourself, and you need to accept yourself, before it destroys you.” Bianca said.

Nico looked down. That sounded easier said than done- how was he supposed to love himself in a world that hates him? 

“I need to go, but I love you, Nico, and I am really, really proud of you.”

With that, Bianca was gone, and it was in that moment, he broke down.

***

It wasn’t until years later when Nico felt the true weight of his sister’s words, as he walked towards the memorial he set up for her right outside of his cabin. For the first time, he did so hand in hand with Will Solace.

He had accepted himself, after years of self isolation, and after he met a group of great people. He looked at Will, who looked down sadly at the picture of Bianca.

“So this is her… the girl who raised my boyfriend.”

Nico nodded, “She’s the first person I came out to…”

Will nodded, sadly, as he squeezed his boyfriend’s hand tightly, “She’d be proud of you.”

“I know.” 

They stared at the memorial for a second, before Nico buried his face into Will’s chest. He was crying again, like the time he cried coming out to her. 

“I wish I could meet her…”

“Me too, Will.”


End file.
